


Just Some Game

by louisesexual



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 17:16:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13617987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louisesexual/pseuds/louisesexual
Summary: "Call me fat then leave. We've been through this."Harry's not his bully no.But he has been lured into a game he can't escape until he, himself beats it.The thing is,Louis is trying to win but if he does;game over for the both of them.©captniallhoran original content. copyrights





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Modest!Managment](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Modest%21Managment).



Copyrights:  
One Direction aren't mine.  
These array of events aren't true.  
This idea is mine.  
If you come across a book anything like this.  
Just don't this is 100% original.

This is pure fiction.

Warnings:  
Unfortunately there are warnings.  
But giving away the warnings destroy the suspense so thus for you are warned in the beginning of a "warning" chapter.

Happy readings.

Updates:  
Well. I'm progressively editing my A.M slang to make this better.


	2. .5

We all know the game.

That one we called fun. The one we adored with a passion.

A game played by children everywhere with everyone around.

That one game we'd play every day until we got dizzy spinning in circles and falling on our bums when the riddle ended.

Yep, Ring Around The Rosies.

We spun in a circles in all sizes as we shouted,

"Ring around the roseys pocket full of poseys  
ashes, ashes, we all fall down."

And then we all fell outwards as we belted our ouches.

We didn't think about what it meant. In fact, we didn't care as long it was fun.

We all thought it was  _just some game._

Little did our little brains know?

It held so much more then fun with our friends.

We all found it was about the black plague.

Then we stopped spinning in circles.

The next generation continued.

They just didn't know.

We found out of was about people literally falling to the ground too uncertain death when we fell outwards at the end.

It was about a rat.

That caused death to millions of people.

That's how my curse was defined to me.

_Like it was_ _just_ _some game. That I didn't know held a real meaning until it smacked me in the face._

©

 


	3. 1. Beginnings

September 28th  
Grade 2

These were the times where we repeated everything our siblings to neighbors said, from insults to compliments, we knew how to say them just not how they affected the people around us.

Justin, one of my friends, giggled a little and pointed at Jesse, a girl in my class who the teacher always mistakes as me. "Her hair, it's to curly." I pouted a little cause my hair was curly too. In fact, it was way curlier then Jesse's.

I looked at Justin and tried to insult without actually pointing at him. I pointed at shorter kid running around with one of his mates. I had no idea who he was. "He's fat."

Ari laughed but Justin didn't. "Your fat too. Look at your cheeks." Right to my face. "Well... you look like a rat."

Justin looked at me like I had crossed his boundaries. "Oh yeah! I didn't want to say this before but... no one likes your curls!"

"Wh-?!"

"I think Louis heard you..." Ari quietly said. I turned to see the boy who I had just called fat,  _Louis_ , on the gravel of the playground silently crying.

"It's not my fault, he's probably crying because he fell." His friend who was chasing him stopped and asked him why he was crying.  _Zayn_. He was in my class. I knew him because he sits across from me at the table. He was a bit intimidating and if I hadn't known better they were best friends.

Suddenly I noticed Louis going inside. I didn't think much of it until one of Louis' other friends, Stan, came over with one of his hips cocked out. "I hope you have to talk to the principle after that. He was never mean to you."

 _Think fast!_   _He's going to tell._

I ran up to him and bent down in front of him. I wrapped one arm around his bum and one around his back and then without hesitation. I lifted him up.

_He doesn't weigh as much as it seems._

I had him in my arms as I began spun in a single circle with him. He wrapped his legs and arms around me. His head suddenly hit mine, which I later found out he was just dizzy. "Oops?" His voice was small weak.

His bottom lip shook and his eyes pooled with tears. I dropped him to his feet a pulled him back in for a hug. "Hi."

"You called me fat."

I caused this pained look on his face and ache visible in his blue eyes. I can never let that happen again. His eyes began pouring at a rapid pace.

"Imma sorry Lou, I didn't mean it."

He peeled back a little and wiped his face with his fist wiping buggers across his face. I pulled him back in for a hug. "I'm really super sorry Lou Lou. I didn't mean to." Zayn came over and took him away from me. Just like that. I no longer had Louis in my arms.

"I could tell you were trouble just by looking at you." Zayn caused my back to shake with chills.

Zayn took Louis with him on his way inside. "He just said sorry Zaynie," Louis slowly began hiccuping. "No Lou. Let's go inside." I heard them say as they continued to walk.

I couldn't help but stare. Louis eyes meet mine half way there. Then he said something. I didn't know if it was directed to me or Zayn. On top of that I had no idea what he said. If I thought about it hard enough. It looked like he said, "elephant shoe"

I turned around and was stopped by the teacher. She smiled and said.

_"What you see,_  
_is what you'll be._  
_But you should fear,_  
_What you don't hear,_  
_Say it again it'll soon be clear."_

You know it was considered some dumb joke. It  _was_  a joke. It was just a riddle I would soon forget.

I told mom what happened. I told her how Justin was rude to me. I even told her about Louis. She was mad at first that I had called Louis fat and as if something flickered in her brain. She began looking at me differently.

She told me karma was going to be a mean to me. Karma was my teachers name. Then I remembered what that teacher said, and I told her the riddle.

Mom got mad and sent me to bed for joking like that but it was all truths. Even though I wanted to argue with mom about lying. I just traveled to bed with an obnoxious guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach.

But time passed. I hated it. Everything changed. Everyone dressed differently. Even I changed. I hated it so much. Even after all these years I went to sleep thinking the same thing every night.

**_I hope Louis forgave me._ **

 


	4. 2. Then Again

Six Years later.  
September 28th  
Grade 8

You know 8th grade. People like to call it the worst year of their life. From the things you learn, to the friends you lose. The rumors that got to you as Gemma would put it.

I found a way to take Gems words to my advantage. I came out as gay two weeks ago.

Today, I did it again. I sat the popular table and insulted someone. But this time, I had rolls to wake up to in the morning.  _Not bread rolls you nincompoop._

"Let's talk about Liam." Ari whispered to the entire table. In other words, It wasn't quite at all. The bright side of having her at the table, she's only one I know.

"Well..." A girl,  _who's name I forbid to be spoken in any way shape or form_ , began. "He needs to lose a couple pounds, of course for heath purposes."

Liam is, and always will be, my mate. "Hey!" Territorial, not at all. Defensive, check. "No he is not! He is so fit under those layers. Watch it!" She just laughed it off a little and pointed out some random guy.

"He could still be more like him." I looked over and saw a blonde bloke with 4 pieces of pizza, yet he had no meat on his bones. "No that is just talent."

"Or he could be like that, ewe!" I looked across the table from the blonde one and noticed one slightly  _bigger_  then Liam, yet he was shorter.

His head was down on the table with a book in his lap. He stuck the occasional carrot in his mouth completely oblivious to his surroundings. I couldn't quite identify the boys and there is no way they'll hear me.

"He's fat, but he's working on it with those carrots."

The boy across from the blonde one quickly sat up and excused himself from his seat and walked to the bathroom, but not without taking a glance in my direction with teary eyes.

I found myself whispering, "Lou-" but I was cut off by a burning pain sent through my left cheek. I looked up. "Nial-?"

"Listen to me you inconsiderate brat! I don't know what makes you think what you're doing is ri-!"

I stood up towering over him which caused him to stop talking. Before I said anything I found myself running to the bathroom after Louis.

But right before I turned the corner I was greeted by a familiar face.

_"What you see,_

__is what you'll be._ _

__But you should fear,_ _

__What you do not hear._ _

__Say it again it'll soon be clear._ _

You did it, the end is near."

And she disappeared but as she did. I recognized her as my 2nd grade teacher. With that thought I neglected to tell Louis how sorry I was.  _I left him there._

The same thought ran around my head as I went to sleep. The second I closed my eyes. I thought of the real reasoning behind why I came out.

_Him._

It was all him. I knew I'd never be able to have the same feelings for a female as I did for Louis. Louis, if I had intentionally called him fat, trust me. I would have. But it was an accident, just like the first time.

I have had Louis on my mind since 2nd grade. Louis was my first real crush. Just last year I had my first "wet" dream. Let's face it, it involved Louis' thighs and my face. Louis was my secret everything!

Letting him slip through my fingers like I had done today. Was probably the worst thing I'll do in my lifetime.

I called him fat without intentionally meaning for him to hear it.

My alarm suddenly went off waking me up from my useless rest. My thoughts raced with the same word over and over at the speed of light.  _Louis Louis Louis Louis._ But, when I crawled out of bed I ignored everything I felt that morning.

I ignored the flesh of my left leg as it touched the other. I ignored the feeling of still having my blanket on, though I had uncovered already. I ignored the heavy steps when I trailed towards the bathroom. I ignored the steam of the shower.

But, what I saw in the mirror that morning couldn't go ignored. My thighs met in the middle even when I stood. The curve of my stomach and hips.

I didn't go to school that day. I told mom I was going to vomit. I played it sick. She let me stay home while she went to work. I wasn't even remotely sick.

I ended up falling asleep again, but I had the feeling of me still being at school.

_I walked down the hall checking the corners as if hiding from someone with my head held low. I walked around the corner at was suddenly stopped by Liam._

_"So you're gay?"_  You're my best mate. You know the answer to that. _But that's not what came out of my mouth at all._

 _"Leave me alone, Liam. I don't want any trouble."_ What!?  _Suddenly I felt every nerve, that took me to say that, break down as Liam got closer in proximity. "You're so fat- get off me!" Liam was very close giving off the untruths. Liam looked like he was trying to make me the bad guy._

 _Before I knew it, the halls filled with laughter. Causing my heart hurt because I could barely stand up for myself. "I'm not fat ! Turn around look in the fûcking mirror ! Right ! I forgot ! Every time you try you break it !"_   _I blurted._  That's more like it.

_My hand covered my mouth as I blurted a million apologies. Before I could comprehend the 'oohs' that filled the halls. I was hit in the face by Liam. My cheek began to throb as I ran towards the bathroom before Liam could get a second hit._

_I didn't think twice before bending over the toilet and_ -

My eyes shot open with tears rolling down my face. It was only a matter of seconds before I found myself gagging. Then, I spewing vomit seconds later.

 _Maybe I was sick_.

But mom forced me to go to school the following morning. I expected the day to go per-usual. It didn't. I couldn't fit in my jeans. I showed mom how it only went half way up.

I ignored the throb in my own cheek as she called me fat and threw me a pair of her sweats. I ended up slipping on my oversized Jack Willis sweater and called it good.

No one seemed to notice my weight gain in which I was grateful. But, as I got to gym to change out. I stopped myself as I watched Louis change.

"Watch your eyes creep." My eyes up and nearly fell out. There was a dark purple mark that defined his sharp cheek bone. "Who-"

"You ready Harry?" I turned and noticed Liams hand wrapped. I slowly shook my head and looked back at Louis' cheek. I pieced two and two together and got my dream from yesterday.

"Yeah yeah give me a second." Liam went ahead a left without a single word. I turned to Louis, but the more I stared. The sadder I got.

"Stop staring. Call me fat then leave. We've been through this." I stepped forward and watched Louis cower further back. I used this to my advantage and kept waking forward until his back but the lockers.

"Hit me and get it over with." Instead I leaned in and softly pressed my lips to his bruise with my eyes closed. I could feel Louis' eyes flutter shut against mine.

I slowly pulled back and quietly said, "I'm sorry this happened to you." With that. I left.

Class soon started, but Louis was late. Before I could go check in him. My lungs decided to run like an old motor. I bent over the nearest trash can and suddenly I puking  _again._

I couldn't help but over hear the words: come - Louis - fat and puke in the same sentence. I would have been fine with it really, but when I turned to see Liam. Something in my brain snapped.

Then before I knew it. I was giving him the same purple mark that Louis had, just in more than one spot.

It was quite funny actually cause just the other day I was saying how Liam would always be my best mate. It's funny how fast the night changes.

But let's face it.

 ** _The board game had just begun_**.


	5. 3. Maybe

Time passed and nothing seemed to change but the people around me. The fat on my stomach was still there. I never found out how it got there, but exercising seemed to help.

2 years later  
December 13th  
Grade 10

Yeah. That's right  _high school._  The worst years known to man kind. Well. For most of us. Some would say this is where you would find out who your true friends are... yep. That's exactly how they put it.

Friends, oh right. It turns out, I have no true friends.

Li- oh that right! I beat him till he was nearly unconscious and his nose was definitely broken. If I knew losing Liam meant losing the cheer squad. I would have done it the same day I was even considered groupies with them.

That left me with Ari- wait she's part of the squad. Well there's Justi- right.

Let's brake that down. I have no frien- Louis! Oh! How could I forget about Louis. We weren't exactly friends. According to Louis, but to me. Louis was my everything.

I got stuck in Chemistry with Louis and with our last names right by each other on the roster. We are normally paired as partners. I always make corney bond jokes.

You could say I was trying to get along with him, but Louis had other ideas. I've gone ignored this entire semester.

Louis doesn't really get the jokes either that or he just flat out ignores me. I guess today. During the lab we had, Louis had a lot to say, yet this time I didn't.

There we were in third hour with Mr. Seam. My day had started off bad because this morning I had decided to finally weigh myself and when I saw the number. I ran around the block until I felt like my lungs were going to collapse in on me.

After the run I slowed down around the block contemplating my better eating habits. An itch developed in the back of my throat. Before I could think of a single food. I was over the side of Liam Paynes rose bushes puking all over them.

 _Oop_ s.

I jogged the reset of the way home and still went to school, so I wasn't really into talking when I got to chemistry today.

"Partners pair up, and do your work."

I slid over and rested my huge head on my larger hands.  _God I need to lose weight._  I could feel Louis eyes burn holes in the side my head.  _Can't weight gain cause depression_ _it's hitting me hard._

"Harry?" I am 1000% sure I am hard. Yeah. You read that right. I looked over at Louis and noticed his weight loss. I couldn't look.  _This isn't fair._

"Yeah?" Damnit I'm even talking slower. "You- are you okay?" I nodded and turned back to the front of class. I could hear Louis sniffing and practically hear the tear drops fall off the bridge of his nose and hit the table.

I quickly turned back to Louis making up some excuse as to why I wasn't talking. "I'm sorry Louis. I had a bad morning. I didn't mean to upset you."

Louis kinda shook it off and flatly said, "I'm having a bad morning as well. I was just hoping you'd say something weird too brighten my day." I can't tell if he was being honest, but my mind was more set to,  _we're having a conversation._

"Wanna talk about it?" I can at least try. Louis looked away for a few seconds only causing tears to fill his eyes back up. "Zay-."

The sound of two maybe three beakers being broken caused Louis to stop talking. He went to go talk about it again but the girl with the violet hair, who broke the beakers, had another idea.

"Louis! Don't talk about it ! Do even realize it's all your fault !?" Whatever they're talking about hit Louis hard cause now he's frozen. His tears aren't falling, and his chest isn't rising.

"Louis -" I went to poke him but he snapped and now his dam is broken.

"You know what Pazz fook you because you knew I was busy ! He even called you first ! You're to busy cheating on him to realize he needed you in that moment buuuuttt nooo ! Now he's gone ! That was your fooking job but guess what your fired ! You fooking loser ! It is your fault !" Pierres face paled as Louis yelled even Justin fell from his chair. The entire class went silent. I somehow found myself crying.

Louis' face was scarlet red. His chest was rising and falling at an unnatural speed. His breaths are rigged and uneven. His tears are coming at random shapes and sizes.

Louis started to leave, but Pierre had to have the last words. "Yeah that's right Lou run. You need to do more of that anyway fat ass! Oh but you can't run for Zayn." The entire class erupted in laughter.  _Jump over the table and pull her poorly dyed hair out of her head._  I'm to big to jump over the table.

And Louis was gone.

I went to go follow Louis but was stopped by the teacher. "Take the pass son."  _God he's so weird._

I took off down the hall trying find him. I found his locker.  _Not there._ The office?  _Absolutely not_.

The itch in the back of my throat came back. I ran to the closest bathroom. I kicked open the nearest stall and bent over and- it didn't happen.

I could hear someone shuffling in one of the other stalls. "Is someone here?" I spoke through my scratched up throat.

"Harry?" There it was again. A voice that caused electrical charges to shoot through my veins. Louis. He sounded like an infant, a poor defenseless infant.

"Lou-"

"Can you leave, please? I need to be alone for a minute."

I found myself neglecting his request simply by finding where he was. There in the last stall, he was sitting up on the throne with his feet on the toilet.

"I don't think that's a good idea Lou." So we talked. He came out of the stall and sat on sink. I was going to but a fear of breaking it came over me, so I stood there.

I listened to Louis. I figured it was Louis turn anyways. Loui talked through bells while I stood there listening with my full attention. We didn't only talk about Zayn but other things as well.

He told me Zayn left state cause his parents wanted to be back with his family, but he could have stopped it, yet he couldn't really. He told me how Pierre cheated on Zayn. He told me how Zayn was his best friend. He told me so much about Zayn; I'm pretty sure I could write a biography.

We talked about our weight. That's when he noticed my weight gain even though its been there since 8th grade. Something in the back of my head said he was going to make fun of me. He didn't. As a matter of fact, he reached for my hand and held me there.

He told me I was cute and cheeky. He called me baby cakes. I would have been offended but my heart was to flattered by the nickname.

Babycakes.

He told me he has written down all my chemistry bond jokes and read them when he was down. Then he called me cheeky again.

But our moment came to an end with the final bell of the day. I couldn't decide whether to hug him or not. I decided against it, but as I made my way to my car. I realized I'd probably never get that opportunity again, so I turned back.

I found him at the bottom steps of a bus but that didn't stop me from pulling him back onto my chest and holding him in a tight embrace.

There it was. Louis seemed to into a small panic as I held his back to chest. I quickly let him down not really wanting him to squirm no more.

I drove Louis home that day and for the first time in two years. I didn't randomly vomit before I fell asleep.

_***~*** _


	6. 4, Relief

**_Warning. It's possible but hard to tell js._ **

Ten days later   
December 23rd

Winter brake happened to fall out the day after mine and Louis all day conversation. I always loved winter brake, spending time with my family while Gems came home. I even enjoyed Robin's company. Just this winter brake, I dreaded coming home after dropping Louis off.

The day after brake started, I vomited a lot more then I would originally. So today. I told mom after it happened again.

_except-_

I let sleep take over til I was fully satisfied, at least I thought I was satisfied but the second I woke up; I was vomiting in the palms of my hands while attempting to sit up so I didn't choke. The vomit kept coming. I was bound to run out of stomach fluids at this rate.

I attempted to walk to the bathroom to clean myself up but my legs fell weak, so I crawled. I crawled to the tub and sunk into the bottom as I reached for the shower handle. I turned it on and lied on the floor.

Water from the shower pelted against my body send cold vibrations over me. I turned the water handle to hot with my feet because I was to weak to attempt to sit up. I could barely use my arms to lift me up.

The vomiting always took a toll on my mood, and the way it happened today made me feel useless. I felt useless, drained, empty _,_ and just flat out sad.

My arms felt to heavy to lift. My chest ached, and I felt my heart flop making it harder to move. I felt paralyzed. My breathing is uneven and the steamy air from the shower didn't help

I reached over and grabbed the shampoo and squirted it in my hair in to wash out any vomit that my have made it there. After I had finished washing my hair. I went in for the AXE to wash my body.

I coated my hands in soap and rubbed it all over my arms. I ran my hands over my shoulders, behind my neck, and over my face. The second I realized I'd have to run my hands over uncharted areas, I broke.

I sat up while my body shook as I cried.  _I'm crying, how pathetic?_  Something over the voice inside my head said,  _you cross your boundaries right now._ I did it.

I ran my hands over my chest and stomach. As I went to run my hands over my stomach; I had expected it to go up and over. It didn't. I tested it again.

I placed my hand where expected fat to be. But there wasn't. I could feel my ribs-  _my ribs?_ Again. I tapped the ribs I felt. They were real, and there was no fat.

Again, I went further down over my stomach. My stomach wasn't lumped like I see in the mirror. In fact, it was caved. My stomach was damn near gone.

I had looked down to see with my own two eyes.  _Nope, see your a fat as-._ I shook the voice out and glared at my stomach.  _Your eyes deceive you Harry._ I brought myself to make a visionary image with my hands.

I traced my ribs. I traced the belly button I haven't looked at in years. I traced everything there.

_Look again._

So I did, I looked down again. I ended up slipping over the wall of the tub spilling bubbles everywhere yelling for my mom, yet I didn't get mom. I never got my mother. Instead, I got Robin.  _Agh_.

"Boy, what is-" I wasn't going to have it this time. I could tell by the look on his face he was going to tell me to man up and get off the floor- not having it.

"No, I want mom." I stated blunt and straightforward. I slid up against the tub and everything seemed to fall apart after that.

My body began sting as if I were being hit. Marks, and bright red ones at that, showed up all over my chest and arms. So, when mom came in the bathroom.

It had all looked wrong in so many ways. I was nearly weezing while tears fell. My back up against the tub with red marks all over my body while Robin stood over me. I tried so hard to get a calm to tell mom, it wasn't what it had looked like, but I felt like I was going to pass out.

"Ma." I went to speak but ended up sounding like an old frog croaking it's last croak. "Oh my poor baby- Robin get out." As he did as told, I found a pitch in my voice and used whatever I could get my hands on.

I told her everything. I told her it wasn't Robins fault and that he didn't do anything. I told her about my dream in 7th grade about Louis to the recent conversation. I told her how I saw fat in the mirror but my hands told me otherwise. I told her I made fun of Louis again in the 8th grade. I told her about vomiting and these bruises, how they randomly popped up.

Mom told me to stand so she could see. She wanted to see what she could do to help. I cupped my groin and stood up. Thats when I felt it.

That's when I felt something I haven't felt in a long time. I genuinely felt  _relieved, free, weight less,_ and  _brave._

"I've never shaved my legs momma, or even touch your razors." My voice wasn't weak anymore, in fact it was blank and held no emotion. I attempted to help her understand.

I could feel the syrup like liquid run down my legs. More sharp pain filled my thighs. Mom watched it. She watched as the skin incaved, opened up and ran across my leg. Just like that,my leg was bleeding more.

My obnoxious hiccuping stopped. Then next thing I knew I was out on the bathroom floor.

" _Louis!? Sweetie, where you at?"_

_"I'm in the tub mah!"_

_I wrapped myself up in attempt to clean some of the blood off my thighs. It didn't work very well. I ended up turning on the shower and jumping in_ _only to send a burning sensation to vibrate through my thighs._

_I felt better. I felt weight less. Weight less like paper, cause paper could be cut and so could I._

_But little did I know a paper with holes fell faster then a full sheet._

* * * *


	7. 5.Truth

the following day   
December 24th

Last night my ears rang and all I could smell was a liquid that sat in bridge of your nose as it tingled with my senses. Then I felt as if something is wrong, which caused my body to break down and go into survival mode and before I know it I asleep.

Yeah that's exactly what happened . My body shut down to stop whatever was happening to it. It did eventually stop, whatever was happening.

I ended up waking up at 3 in the morning to my heart tracker going off the wall. Bad dreams. A very horrible dream. The beeping didn't stop. It was loud. Filling up the room.

A nurse ended up running in with a worried look across her face. I calmed her by simply saying it was a bad dream. She let out one of those sighs of relief that I wish I could let out, but something held me back from doing so.

The nurse looked like one of the girls from a stereo topical movies with her nurse gowns. She looked like she came straight out of hetero-porn.  _Gross._  I watched her check the monitors.

"You blood pressure is pretty low for a 15 year old." She sounded those girls that stand against the lockers with the red suckers in their mouths attempting to be sexy but absolutely failing.

"Yeah. I believe the lack of food and stuff like that causes it to rise. Lets just hope I don't get angry anytime soon." I let a dry laugh escape my mouth. It held no emotion.

"Yeah also if you have frustration, of any kind, relieve it immediately. Or it'll get worse." Is she hinting what something?

"I'm gay so it'll be a little harder to  _relieve_  any sexual frustration." And

She's gone.

Thank god.

Mom ended up coming in not to long after with a muffin and one of those Starbucks coffee things. "Hey Harry, how are you doing?"

"I'm not sure, but the lady who was in here said something about my blood pressure being to high." The sarcasm rolled right off my tongue before I could stop it.

Mom shook her head, "Not like that, you know I hate it when you do that. Not physically, mentally. Are you okay?"

"Ma, I think there's something wrong with my mental being. But what physically happened last night, hurt my mental being. I am not okay." I said with no emotion but ment every word.

"What can I do to help?"

"I don't even know what to do myself. How am I-?"

"Ms Anne?" A male walked in the door cutting me off. "May I speak to you outside please?"

Mom sent me a glance. "I'm sure he'll be able to answer your question."

She followed him out the door. I could hear silent mumbles but couldn't make out a word. Before I knew it I could hear moms tears hit the floor. She cried so loud I could feel her body shake through me.

She came in alone but not without turning back and saying she had it. "Harry." She's broke again as she pulled me into a tight hug.

"Mamma you're scaring me." I sat up and pulled her closer.

"So the doctor said you, you've got a curse circulating through you body. And with that curse you've developed anorexia." She took a deep breath as if she weren't finished.

"But Harry the worst part is they can't fix it." She's crying more. I couldn't help but cry as well. "Why? Ma, I don't want to starve. I wanna eat without unexpectedly vomiting on the second bite!"

"Shh Harry your blood pressure." I tried to calm. I tried so hard.

"How do I fix it then ma?"

"Well the doctor strongly suggest you find the other half to your problem. There's someone else going through the exact samething right now, expect their parents isn't as fortunate as I am."

All I got out of that was, I was someones voodoo doll through themselves, and they don't realize their hurting me as much as their hurting themselves.

_Knock knock_

"Coming!" I could hear footsteps come in my general direction towards the front door. "Who i- oh hey Harry. Come on in." Johanna welcomed me in.

"You must be here to wish Louis a happy birthday." I nodded, "Yeah, 17 is an age I've been aching to reach; might as well congratulate him."

"Why don't you go find him, while I make snacks?"

I nodded as she directed more towards his room. I thanked her and went up stairs then went to the second door on the left.

I knocked on the door a few times setting his present on my hip. "Mom, I sai-  _oh_ _._ "

He moved away allowing me inside his humble abode. I looked around adjusting to the unfamiliar surroundings. "What do you want Haz?"

_Haz? I like it._

"I brought you a present, I wrapped it m'self." He looked down at it and pulled it into his lap as he sat in his green beanbag chair.

"I heard you were in the hospital today?" I nodded and looked away. "Yeah I don't want to talk about it." Just thinking about having to find the other half stressed me out beyond death.

"Why are you here Harry?" He asked a little too stern for my cup a tea. "It's your bir-"

"No Harry you know what I meant."

"Well, I can't just wish you ha-"

"No. You can't. There's something more to it, and there always will be."

"I disagree," Louis ended up making a sound that can't be described. A sound that they went straight to my heart. A sound wave that was ment to be heard by dolphins. Before I knew it Louis sobbing.

"Lou, I-I didn't mean to upset you. It's your birthday I - I'll leave." I got up a flattened my shirt with my hands.

"Wait! Haz I have a quick question. If you answer it correctly. I want you to stay." It seemed pretty simple really, so I agreed to it.

The question confused me until I wrapped my head around it. "Harry, are these clothes?"

I could of gave him a yes or no answer but when I realized why he had asked it. I kinda, "You honestly think I'd try to change what you wear? Honestly if I had to pick my favorite outfit on you that you already have."

I got up ready to scavenge through his clothes but he stopped me. "Just describe it to me, it might be in the wash and I don't want to make my drawers a mess." I let it slide.

"Okay, I personally like those blue TOMs with your black skinnys, and that one top...  _eghh_  The Future is Now, one yeah." Louis face lit up.

"That's my favorite one too. Well, I'm not such a fan of the TOMs anymore but it works."

I ended up sitting back down as We talked for a while and Johanna eventually brought in cookies and tea. We laughed, we bonded. Around 7 Louis decided it was time to open the box.

There in the box was a journal and a digital camera with a few lenses. "H, why did you-?"

"I remember when we were talking that day before brake, and you wanted to find a way to savor the moment. So I thought a photograph could do exactly that. And the journal is for the extra insight on the picture. Oh and the camera is Polaroid so?"

I lifted up the foam holding the camera and journal in place and showed him all the film. "Harry, this is so sweet."

"I wanna see the journal every now and then." He nodded and placed a film in the cam and took a picture of us.

The picture came out just right. He taped it on the back of the cover and wrote  _happy_.

_Happy, what a word._   
_Under used and used incorrectly. Louis wasn't happy._   
_He was scared, scared he had fallen in love._


	8. 6. New

New Years eve

You know those moments when you're not sure of what to do. You even feel the need to question weather there's anything to do, or anything I should do.

_Do I hug him?_

_Should I kiss him?_

_Are we even to a point where I can do either?_

_Doesn't he hate me?_

These questions could simply answered, if he'd just look at me. You can't just give someone so much attention, then just not the following day. I don't know, maybe I just need to much. Maybe I am that clingy friend that no one wants.

So if I start the hugs now. I won't be able to "let go". When the hugs stop, so does everything else. I can be a little over exaggerated but that's never the way it feels.

I could say, Hi. And not receive it back, I'd feel as if I'd done something wrong. I'd never think of why it had stopped, maybe their having a bad day? I haven't heard of a bad day lasting a week. Maybe they lost a family member, how would I know that without talking?

They said silence is the best medication. It's not ignore the man who had said that. Then when he feels the same as I, from being ignored. Come back to me, and talk to me.

So, I didn't hug Louis with 5 seconds left on the clock, nor 4, 3, 2, or even 1. But, the second it held the double zeros. I had caught his oceans drowning me.

When our eyes met that night, I felt like an explorer had finally found that bright blue puddle in the dark green forest. The puddle that had the forest growing and living.

I ended up figuring it out when the first set of fireworks went off in black and white. I wasn't only slow at talking but figuring things out.

I wanted to fall on the floor, pass out, and pretend the realization hadn't struck. I wanted to forget these passed few years. I wished I hadn't called Louis fat.

It all stacked in my brain. I knew it could be to good to be true. There's no good in what's happening.

He wasn't ignoring me, I heard his thoughts. I could feel his hesitation. I could feel his thighs flare. I could feel the itch in the back of his throat. I could feel his ribs his hip bones.

And it was all my fault.

What do I say?

I went with no words. I ended up hugging him. I knew if I wrapped my arms around his core, he'd crumble, so instead, I pulled him in by the shoulders.

Louis tried to restrain from hugging me back, but the shake of my voice gave away that I needed it, but Louis needed it more.

"I'm sorry Lou." Was all I could say before I let out a choked sob. I could feel his shoulder blades poke at my arms as he hugged me back.

"My New Years resolution is to get you better Lou. Even if it kills me cause it'll kill me before you, and I need you Louis."

_I need you._

_***~*~*** _


	9. 7. Louis

5 days later   
January 5th

Louis hasn't communicated with me in anyway since New Years.  _Louis._  Normally I wouldn't have a problem. But I did because of a dumb realization that had me around Louis like a sloth to a branch.

He stayed the night that night. We ended arguing over who was spooning who, ridiculous I know! We were actually fighting over who was spooning!

He kept asking why he couldn't spoon me. Then it hit me,  _I don't want him to touch my stomach._  

When I thought it over and realized it was his thoughts rolling around in my head, so I let him have it. When he wrapped his arms around me. I wanted to pull him off and sleep on the couch just to get his small hands off my ribs. I felt disgusting, but the idea of showing Louis he wasn't alone held me there.

Louis ended up removing his arms and rolling over. I could hear his whispers. He was crying, so I rolled over and placed my hands in between my thighs to restrain from holding him, and I placed gentle lips the shell of his ear as I placed my head on his.

I was out within seconds. Sleep was something that could come easy when your comfortable. Louis just made me more comfortable. I woke up small shifts in the bed. I didn't remember Louis turning to face me during the night, so I took the liberty of wrapping my arms around him and pulling him back to me.

I didn't think before I did it but I did. I had Louis around his boundaries. I could hear Louis hit a panic point. I still held him. He tried to pull me off him, I didn't even budge. I couldn't let go.

He ended up panicing to where he had passed out. When I woke up. I noted that his thighs were around my core and his head was on top of mine. I had him around his stomach with my arms and my head against his chest.

I pulled off slightly and his eyes snapped open and he ran. That was the last time I saw and heard from him. To say I was excited to go to school this fine Wednesday, was an understatement.

I couldn't function, left alone  _breathe._

 _Breathe_.

_BREATHE_

_HARRY_

_BREATHE!_

"MOM!" I felt like I was going to discharge my lungs. I could my face gain unwanted pressure. "Ma!" My face feels like its going to explode.

"Ma-!" There she is.

"Honey- oh my gosh! Are you okay Harry?!" She ran over and began rubbing circles on my back noting that I was uncontrollably coughing.

"I'm going to take you to the doctor, get some trousers on."  _I sleep naked_. I pulled up some plaid boxer and some sweats before I knew it I was in the car on my way to the same doctor that had called out my _curse_  when my body went into survival mode.

We ended up at the hospital faster then I could blink. He sat down and waited for a series of coughs to end. "Pee in this cup." So I did. It was quite easy because I hadn't used the restroom this morning.

I put the lid on the cup and gave it back to him. He said it may take a few because they're supposed to send it in. He said he'll work with the testing equipment he has.

It took him a solid 20 minutes before coming in and simply stating,

"You have been tested positive for cigarettes intake within the last hour and a half."

Mom tried to hold me back from school. I told her I didn't need to change my clothes. So she eventually agreed and dropped me at the front door.

I need to tell him.  _Genius_. I thought.Telling him wou-

I ran into someone by accident knocking any thoughts out of my head. I bent down to help the stranger but the second I saw his face; I had him up against the nearest locker.

"What are doing here? Nah, scratch that. Why did- fuk! You broke him! He's falling apart and you left him in the dirt! You know how hard it is to put the prices that you broke back?!"

I can't believe I was seeing what I was seeing. "I didn-"

"I wasn't finished, I can't hug him around the waist. He thighs are WWIII. He is smoking!? He has fallen at an uncontrollable rate. And I'm not even supposed to know these things! It's not only him but me too."

"are y-?"

"no no no, I am not  _done_. What is with this?" I pulled a lock of his gray hair. "Do you think he wouldn't notice you Zayn? Just by simply dying your hair gray and wearing and excessive amount of mascara; that he wouldn't notice you? Your full of shît to the color of your irises."

"Har-"

"I'll gladly inform you that am not done let me finish. Did you know the Lou won't eat, let alone nibble at anythin-"

Of course there was that one kid who thought who thought I was bullying Zayn. "Hey Harry back up will y- Zayn?"

Before I could blink a single blink Niall was beating Zayn. He had him pinned the ground grey hair spread the ground blood leaking from Zayn, on every corner of his face.

I took the audacity of pulling Niall before it became more then hair pulling and punching. Niall tried to pry me off but Zayn has had enough.

Niall was talking non-sense saying how he needed to "beat inconsiderate out of him". Also how he hurt Louis. The simple words of "I know," had Niall breaking down in my arm.

I turned with breaking Nile dam in my arms. I hadn't noticed the large amount of students around us. I got them to departure in different directions as I put Niall down at the end of the hall.

We talked about Louis until a teacher had found us ditching class, and apparently was looking really hard for Niall.

The following bell went off signaling that the next hour was ready to start and sure enough it was for chemistry.

Like always Louis was the first one there and alone in the back. I walked over and gently placed my big green chemistry book next to his.

I pulled up a chair and sat right beside him instead of a table away. At first Louis didn't notice me until I poked his shoulder.

"Where's Niall?" That's it. That's all I got.

"He uh got into a fist fight this morning-"

"And you watched?"

"Well for a minute until I pulled him off."

"With who?" He's been getting really emotional lately. In other words, he's on the verge of tears.

"Its not for me to -" The bells for class to start went off. So class began. We ended up taking a short test on what we remember from last semester. Which ended with Louis obnoxiously taping his thigh with his pencil.

At first, I didn't care. Until I could feel a breath taking tare opening one of those damned cuts. So I looked over and snatched his pencil. "Its open now leave the rest alone."

I can't tell if he was stunned by the words I used or the tone. I had probably said to much, but I'll never get Louis any better if I don't show him what he's doing.

He was about to get up and leave. Then I remember I hadn't randomly vomited the second half of winter break. So I pulled him back down. "Not today sit please."

Thank god for black jeans. Louis ended up sitting back down with confusion drawn all over his face.

That's how the day went. I attached to his side watching for Zayn to pounce. He never did which was great. Then lunch came around I knew how Louis would get if I had asked him to go eat lunch, so instead we ended up in the library talking about books.

Then school ended and we went our separate ways with a hug.

_This isn't going to end well if I don't get something out of him._


	10. 8. Second chance

Let's face it,

Time is going to pass whether you want it to or not. It's going to happen.

For better or worse. Its going to, and theres nothing there to stop it. I wish I could. I wish I could stop Louis from fading. Stop him from pushing me away. Get Liam back. Apologize to Zayn. Eat an actual meal.

But what's done is done. And I don't know how to fix it. Here I sat in my last class of the day with my senior class men. Also known as, the most regretted year.

The regrets, oh the regrets. The things I hadn't done. The things I have over done. The things that I just flat out regreted all around.

And one was, meeting Louis.

It cuts deep to say things like that. But my words aren't the only thing that cuts deep these days. God, I wish I could stop it. I can't just walk up to him and be like, "I know what you do 9 o'clock every night cause I feel it."

That's right. That's how frequent it had become. Every single night. I wake up with raw skin. Raw, itchy skin. I can't even hide it anymore! Its all over my palms, because there's no room on his arms! My legs look awful!

Thank god high school only needs one gym credit. I can't wear short sleeved shirts. I can't wear shorts. And when it's the middle of summer, I'M BURNING .

So, you can say it has gotten pretty bad. It got really bad last year to where I thought it was good to call it a life time and get this over.

You guessed it, I walked in the bathroom pulled jars of pills of the cabinet behind the mirror. I was pumped and ready. But the second I closed the mirror. I didn't see my reflection; I saw Louis.

I dropped everything and fell apart. I realized what Louis does backfires on me, I didn't want to cause Louis more pain. Louis stopped vomiting, cause he had nothing in his stomach. That didn't stop me from every waking second I got to eat.

I never really talked to Louis after my attempt in ending the game. It's kind of like pressing the start button and signing out. No one really realizes what you've done until they realized you've canceled the game for everyone playing cause you were the first player.

All in all, if I hadn't met Louis that god awful day. None of this would be happening. I wouldn't have called Louis, not once but twice, fat. Cause the second times the charm, bastered.

Its like playing Mario Cart. It doesn't matter who's playing, whichever player is on top wins, all the time. I'm lead to believe Louis had the top half of the screen. And I need to find away to take control from there bottom.

Today, I had planned on getting Liam back because I'm tired of being alone. Liam doesn't really deserve my friendship. But I need him back. I need make something right somewhere. Even if it means an awful bond that's going to hang over my head til I die.

So the final bell eventually rang signaling the end of the day. I found my way to Liam and broke down in his arms. I was almost 100% Liam would push me away and tell me to leave, yet he didn't.

He held me back.

Liam is one of those people to have a temper, but he doesn't hold a grudge. I am thankful for that.

No words were said during our hug. I knew Liam didn't bully Louis anymore cause I would see it. Liam let out a choked sob signaling I wasn't the only one who needed this.

I knew nothing about Liam anymore and that's what hurt the most. Liam started getting harder to hold cause I was now taller then Liam. Even though I was a year younger.

Grateful that today was a Friday, I decided to have Liam over tonight. We caught up. I found out why Liam broke down.

And why he bullied Louis when he did.

Liam was just flat out confused with his sexuality. So that caused him to push Louis around, for hiding it. It didn't make sense, no, but bullying someone never makes sense.

The reason Liam broke down, it turns out Liam experimented. But like must experiments, it turned out bad. And just tore Liam.

The funny part I had to wrap my head around was that, his experimentie was Zayn. He was telling me how they were going at it again. Zayn ended up leaving him hanging because Liam wanted to know what had happen to his face.

So, it was like a train reaction. Every time Niall ended up beating Zayn every time he got out of Louis' field of vision. Louis. My thoughts always found a way to go back to him. Anyway, it turned out Liam just wanted to show more then sexual affection which caused Zayn to shut down.

"Wow, sounds a lot like something I'm going through."

I told him, I told him about Louis. I told him why I hit him 4 years ago. I showed him my arms. I showed him my thighs. I showed him my stomach. But not without an explanation.

At first he didn't believe me until the clock struck nine. I had him watch the cut randomly appear from one side of my hand to the other. At first he didn't fully react till I told him Louis did that.

I asked him to glance at Louis' hand and see. Liam agreed.

We ended up playing FIFA for the rest of the night. And fell asleep cuddling.

Glad things were starting to fall back into place.


	11. 9. Not Losing Lou

**So this chapter goes up then kinda goes right back down. So, in other words.**  
CAUTION

As graduation got closer, the closer I had gotten to everyone I ended up pushing away. Basically, I had gotten everyone back.

I got Ari back. I made sure the squad stayed as far away from me as possible. I wanna burn them at the stake. Ari and I had literally nothing to catch up on so yeah.

I got intact with Justin and laughed it off. We ended up discussing our future, and he told me how he had always wanted to be musically involved. I told him I'd figure out what I wanted to be eventuality not really having a clear idea of what I want.

I made a new friend, Niall, he's a great guy. Niall eventually stopped beating on Zayn after a while. Niall and I ended up getting pretty close. One evening he had saw my scars, so I told him everything. Niall and I ended up a lot closer then I thought we would be.

I brought it upon myself to talk to Zayn I ended up telling him everything as well. So only him, Liam, and Niall knew. Zayn and I had a bond built around Louis.

 _Louis._ Everyone ended up isolating Louis just the way he wanted. I tried to keep a close eye. It slowly got harder as I pushed to keep my grades proficient to pass.

Zayn, Liam, Niall and I ended up being pretty close. We ate lunch together. I explained to Niall that Louis is lead to believe his stomach is empty, so he doesn't vomit as often, but he's still being fed.

Graduation got even closer, I hadn't realized what went wrong until one night Louis hadn't cut at exactly 9 o'clock.

The night before graduation. The night before uncharted freedom. The night before a world of open opportunities. I thought Louis was finally  _done_ , but when I looked the bathroom mirror to see him one last time before graduation; I couldn't see him.

I knew something had went wrong. I couldn't feel the normal itch in the back of my throat. The scars didn't itch either. I ended up opening and closing the bathroom mirror getting more and more frustrated until it shattered.

I could hear words that could be later identified as Louis' step dad. I couldn't make out the words being said like I usually could. I started walking down stairs to see if my mom could take me over. I stopped half way and got extremely light headed to a point to where I would fall. Then the words that was said earlier filtered through my head.

 _"You useless piece of shìt,"_  then a hit in the face.

When I found my mom. She didn't let me speak. She seemed to be panicking and before I could blink; I was in the passenger seat of the car being buckled in.

I went to go say 'Louis' by natural instincts but when I went to say the 'L' in Louis. I could taste a powder on my lips and around in my mouth. But a powder I couldn't quite identify. Then it hit me. I ended up screaming, "Mom! I'm fine! That's the least of our problems go to Louis house please! Mom!"

She started crying, hard. I pulled down the visor and opened the mirror and noticed the power in chunks on the lower half of my face. Almost like  _vomit._

"Mom! Mom take me too Louis! Oh my god." By this time I was drowning in tears. The car ended up coming to an abrupt stop causing me to slide forward the seat belt to lock.

I whiped my mouth clean and noticed we were at his house already. "Go save him son, I believe in you." I unbuckled and ran. I didn't knock. I should've because Jay was in a make out session. I held back the urge to yell at them.

"Where's Louis?" His mom ended up pulling off her husband and saying his room and gave me directions. Not even noting that I was in fact in tears.

Up the stairs, door one on right. I knocked,  _wtf get in there!_ I turned the handle, locked. I ended up hitting the door with my body, without a second thought, and braking the hinges.

I ran in, "Louis !" The bathroom. Connected right to the room. Not locked. There he was.

No time to think, before I knew it I had him over my knee in his limp state. "Not today Louis," I pushed my dry fingers down his throat causing him to regurgatate whatever he had taken.

 _make him puke that's what he want_ s

I shook out Louis' voice and got nothing. I ran my fingers under hot water and proceeded to shove a finger down throat. There it goes. He began puking white, like milk. He started coughing which caused it to fire back in my throat.

I hadn't puked which I hadn't cared. I was more in the state if shock. My tears were falling at a rapid pace. I could barely get a hold on my voice. It didn't help with a burn being sent through lungs.

Louis had yet to open his eyes. "Lou," I ended up sounding like a whining dog. Louis' muscles were all tense. Knowing Louis was awake not wanting to open his eyes afraid of who is holding him. I decided on responding to his thoughts out loud.

"Louis, don't be afraid anymore. I need you."

Without opening his eyes, "How do y-you know I'm afraid?" His voice is horse and dry.

"I can hear your thoughts Lou. I feel what you feel. And tonight I couldn't hear nor feel you, and I was so scared." I pulled him to my chest and cried so hard.

"Don't do this to me ever again," I pleaded clutching on to him harder.

Louis didn't respond for what felt like forever. So when I pulled him off I expected the worst. It wasn't so bad.

His eyes were open, staring. Then a thought crosses my mind and began to panic. But I was soon calmed by the words of famus love quote, "Calm down curly."

I shook my head as the quote crossed my mind. Maybe what me and Louis have is a twisted love story. A love story where when one is effected by something so is the other. But the simple, "what she doesn't know won't kill her" isn't effective because in the end I'll know.

"Did you tell anyone?" Louis asked softly as if he was afraid of straining his voice. "I hadn't really called anyone. I should have but I didn't."

I took the time to analyze Louis' face because man he looks like an angel. "When were you going to tell me Zayn was back?" His voice is still soft.

"I wasn't ever planning on telling you."

Louis did a little shrug thing that made him look like a bunny. I took notice in his parents not caring a dip squat about me running up to see Louis.

"They don't care do they?" Louis automatically knew who I was talking about. "No, they made it worse." His voice sounds as if it was trying to give out. Its weak and in desperate need of care.

I figured it was time to get off the nasty floor. I found a cup and washed it out. I filled it up with water and had him wash his month out.

I ended up carrying him to the front door. The only thing that stopped me at the front door was his dad sending us homophobic terms thaf caused anger to build up inside.

I ignored his step father and did what I should have done since day one.

_Put Louis' safety before mine._

That's exactly what I did. I walked through the front door and slowly had him buckled him the back of the car.

"Does he need a doctor?" Mom quietly asked. "Yeah, their probably going to have to pump his stomach. Say he ate too many granola bars." Louis cracked a genuine smile and looked over at me.

That's a smile I'd save to see.

"Don't eat to many of those. Been there done that. It's no fun."

The creases under his eyes deepened. His eyes started to sparkle.

"Not losing you." 


	12. 10

Last night kind of happened out of no where. It all happened so fast. I forgot why we were going the hospital for point 5th of a second until I saw Louis next to me in the back.

I thought it would be the simple stomach pump... but nnnooo things will always go the opposite way that you want it.

I want to be straight. No.  
I wanted to go to X Factor auditions. No.  
I want get the right feeling when I'm with a girl. No.  
I want stop feeling things when I'm around Louis. No.  
I want this horrible circle of drama to stop. No.  
I want to wake up from a wet dream because of a girl. No.  
I want to consume a full meal without Louis noticing the fullness of his stomach. No!   
I want to stop Louis' cuts. No.  
I want Louis parents to care. No.

This dumb list could go on for years, but you want to know what I wanted the most? For the hospital thing to be an in and out process. They saw his arms.

The end.

That was the only option they gave me. They wanted to take Louis away from me. See the thing is, I wouldn't allow them. Mr. Ferdolous, ( _idfK)_  the man who had told me it was a curse, said to me they could take him to a place where he will not only he gets help, but he will also be relieved from the curse.

How in the hell are you going  _relieve_  someone from a curse that's double sided?

First off, I don't care if you have a thick white mustache and found the cure for cancer. I will not listen to a single after,  _"I know what's best..."_  You cannot know best. Louis has unintentionally saved my life and I will repay my debt to him.

So when Mr. Ferdolous told me "what is best for Louis" I told him no. Not a second thought. No hesitation. The doctor tried to tell me that I'm not picking the right decision. I turned to him and blankly said, "I think I've figured out how to relieve the curse and still keep him at the same time."

The doctor tried to tell me we wouldn't make it far. I turned to him, calmly answering was not an option at this point. "If you're talking about our eating habits, I've figured it out."

Without a single word, we were gone. Well,

"We need to keep him a couple nights, for suicide watch." Nope.

Not happening. "We have graduation. I would hate to miss that. Please. I'll watch him myself. Please let me finish the mess I started. I'll keep a close eye and if something happens. It'll be in my death bed." The man behind the counter gave in. "On your death bed son."

Wait.

I turned to Louis. "This is great!"  _Ohshit._ "I didn-."

"It's okay Harry." I wrapped my arms around him. "Ha-ry ca-t bre-th."

"Sorry!" For some reason. I felt alive. I felt free. I called Louis brave. He smiled. It took everything to not lean over and just flat out pet him.

When we made it back to the house, Louis was a little confused as to why we were at my place instead of his. I told him something like, "We're at my place cause I'm not going to take you back to where your might get triggered. On top of that, how am I supposed to watch you if you're all the way over there and I'm all the way over here?"

Louis mumbled something incoherent while mom traveled to bed. I glanced at the clock and noticed it was two in the morning. As if on que, Louis yawned. I ended up purring at the sound which had Louis waking back up.

"Sorry, you sounded like a kitty." I admitted. "Right back atch-yah." I slowly walked up to Louis and found myself picking him up and carrying him to my room, but not without a bundle of protests and my mom yelling for us to go to bed. I won.

As I got to my room. "Where do you want to sleep tonight boo?" I asked with him still in my arms. "Next to you."

( _a/n: *cries ugly*)_

I gently placed Louis in my bed but not without stopping and staring. Mom ran in, ruining my moment to admire Louis. "You're not sleeping in the same bed."

"But ma!" I complained.

"No butts tonight mister. You sleep naked." I didn't miss the smirk fall across Louis face and disappear within seconds, as if realization struck. "You sleep naked?"

I slowly nodded as a blush crept upon my checks. "I sleep naked."

"You didn't sleep naked the first night I stayed the night." I nodded and used that for my mom.

"Yeah, mom! I had the decency when he first stayed the night to wear some under armor!" My mother ended up springing a brow. "And this sleep over was?"

 _Louise she was out at a party!_  The thought bounced around my head until Louis had caught it in his.  _Ohshit you're in troubl_ e. I turned to him with so much sass mom gave up.

"Well, obviously there will be no bumping uglys tonight since it seems you have other things to deal with. But if you do. Use protecti-"

"Ma!"

"Remember there's a box in the dra-"

"Ahh!"

"Fine." She turned to leave. "Second drawer."

"Oh my god!" Then she's gone.

"I'm so- Louis close that!" Louis started giggling. "What's that?"

I didn't have to ask to know what he was taking about it. The purpledildo. Louis went in to get it. "Don't touch!"

He quickly retreated his fingers. "You use that?" Instead of answering. I looked down at my feet. Louis began to fill my mind.  _I wonder what it would look like?_  So instead of letting him hang. I sent him a mental picture.

I heard an angelic sound erupt from his mouth. It wasn't a laugh. It was his voice going weak. "Sorry." He shook his head. "No, no. Don't be."

So to say it was okay for Louis to go to the bathroom alone for a minute was okay. Just this once. 

When he had finished. I waited for the argument to commence. Who was spooning? But without an argument Louis quietly said, "You can spoon."

That's exactly what I did. I flicked the lights and crawled into bed next to Lou. We slotted together like puzzle prices.

I was going to throw out our last words but I was stopped by something touching my cheek. I thought for sure it was Louis' finger until I realized Louis fingers aren't that big.

Then it hit me. Literally. He smacked me with it. "Lou oh my god!" I tried to reach for it and some how I ended up on top of him wrestling with the dill.

"I jus just wanna play." He smacked me harder. "I didn't clean that Loui-" suddenly its been interested into my mouth.

I expected my gag reflexes to go off and cause me to puke. No.

It sent a wave through my body and stop at my groin causing it to harden. "I'm sor-!"

The bedroom did swung open revealing my mom. At first she wasn't looking. I tried to pull the dill out but the tip was lodged down my throat. So...

"I forgot to say goo- oh okay well I'll leave you two alone." She looked at me funny til she realized what was in my mouth. "Teenagers." She was gone yet again.

Louis looked back at me. The moon illuminated his face. "Um, I don't know how you get that out."

I shook my head as my eyes began to water. I placed my hand on Louis lower stomach indicating I was hard.

He nodded understanding. But he didn't understand that I'd soon be grinding my hips so I didn't vomit when I reached my fingers down my throat to pull the dill out.

So when I did Louis was completely taken by surprise. He didn't push me away or tell me to stop. So I keep it slow.

I brought my smallest fingers down my throat pulling at the head to the dill and pulling it all the way out.

When it fell out, I threw it across the room and stopped moving all together.

"Im s-ry. That's only way I know how to get that out without pukeing."

I was all sweat while Louis was all breathing. "It's okay, I shouldn't have, done that."

We feel asleep within seconds. I still on top of Louis but let's face it.

_Everyone happens to have crazy nights and this one happened to be mine._   
_*~*~*~*_


	13. Graduation

You can say today started off slow.

Who am I kidding?

We woke up dam near noon giving us an hour and a half to be in alphabetical order and in the gymnasium.

Ha!

So when I rolled off Louis. Those big red dialogue numbers will always give my a heart attack. When it read 11:56, I freaked out.

I had Louis up frantically asking him what he was wearing for graduation. He laughed a little until it ranked my brain that his parents do not give two _shits_  about him let alone him graduating.

"I have a few suits from years ago. I don't have pants but we'll work something out."

I walked to my closet and went to town. "Louis you can shower, don't be afraid to ask."

I turned to Louis and saw his large smile. "I have to use the restroom first." I walked in and pulled all of moms razors out of the draws and shower and hid them. Done.

"You can-"

"You have to trust me now."

Louis startled me standing out side of the bathroom. I looked away remembering I was thinking about Louis conflicting pain upon himself the entire time. "I'm sorry Louis."

Louis walked into the bathroom and started the shower with the door wide open while I got a towel.

I brought back a big fluffy green one. "This one is my favorite, I thought it would bring you comfort when you get out so..." My voice trailed away imaging Louis walking into my room: small, fragile, clean, and happy. That would make a lifetime.

I looked back up at Louis not realizing I was holding on to the towel like a child with its first blanket. Louis had a small smile. Small yes, but his eyes showed something I couldn't define. They seemed to shine, his blue eyes never made me feel so safe ever in my entire life.

"I-," Louis tried to say something, really he did. I just, how do I explain it? I couldn't resist the urge. I swear I just it in control. I swear. But I lost all control of the entire situation. I kissed him.

Absolutely no regrets.

No, yes, no. It wasn't an "in the moment" thing. I had pleaded with myself when to do this. I needed to get it off my chest. So let's face to it was not that big of a surprise, but Louis was still shocked.

And in all honesty I wouldn't have done it. The easy last night went simply confirmed that Louis had an attraction to the male gender.

I let it remain as the simple peck. So he could get back to showering while I went back to finding an old suit. When going through my closet I remembered 2 suits I absolutely loved.

Realizing Louis probably already knew what it was going to be... I was excited to see him in it.

Louis came through the bathroom door that connected to my room dripping wet. His hair was flat and draped over his eyes and parts of his nose. A large amount of leg was shown; if it had gone any higher his Lucky Charms, as Niall would call it, should have been showing.

"Lou," it came out more as a sigh with content. "You're so pretty, no. You're beautiful." I hope Louis understood that the word wasn't meant for a feminine term. Louis is beautiful.

"Th-k yo-. Hi-cups." He smiled shyly he went to cover his face but before he could. I grabbed it and pulled it from his face. "Lets not go down that road again. You and your smile is stunningly beautiful."

Louis' face covered in a shade of pink. "Now, that suit." See, I had expected Louis to know what it was. He didn't. Which was odd.

So when I pulled out 2 older suits, I expected Louis to know what of what the wear. He didn't. "Louis, are you okay?"

There was no itch, there were no new cuts, or even a dry throat. "Yeah, why? Are you okay?"

So I explained it to him. I explained how I picked an outfit. He told me he thought I had forgotten. Then it hit us both in the face, "The curse!" Unison. Bam.

Wait, "Lou-!"

I'm being cut off by kisses on my cheek and lots of them. They don't stop, they tickle, I'm giggling. The laughing stops when I turn my head for my lips to meet his once and for all.

His constant small kisses stop. It turns into longer two player kisses. We're both playing, we're both winning. It's slow, delicate, and worth it.

As if we pulled apart by choice, "Harry Edward Styles! Get off of that boy!" Who said I was on him? Okay, I was close.

I detached my lips from Louis'. I completely ignored whatever she said after that. I could feel the gloss over my eyes, I could also feel the bigger my lips have gotten.

"-13 minutes Harry, understand?"

"Huh?"

I could feel her eye roll from here. "You have-- 12 minutes get dressed!"

I straightened myself back up and pulled Louis to his feet. "- Okay Harry?"

"Okay ma'am."

She walked away as I pulled out the maroon suit along with a black one. "So I was thinking maroon trousers with the black blazer."

Louis pulled it out of my hands as I showed him. I pulled out my own suit being a heavy shade of green.

Louis cleared his throat counseling my attention. I turned to see him still in the fluffy green towel. We caught eyes, he quickly looked away.

"Yeah Lou?" I watched as his left hand moving had gained some of my attention. It moved to the end of the towel moving it up a little revealing more of his thigh. If I hadn't been so drawn to his hand, I would have saw the world in 50 different shades.

He pulled it so far up it exposed his hip. "I- I don't have any-"

"Lou, you got me all frustrated because you needed some trousers?" Louis turned with a small blush playing on his cheeks as he shyly nodded. "Okay," I groaned obviously frustrated.

I tossed him a pair out of my top drawer. Before I knew it we were dressed well, "What are you wearing?"

Suddenly I'm being involuntarily stripped from my clothing. He threw me what felt like silk and black dress pants.

I didn't think much before putting it on. I had a nice black see through silk on. We kinda matched.

_**(IMAGE ON TOP/SIDE)** _

I tossed Louis a pair of nice dress shoes as I slipped mine on. We made it down stairs side by side causing mom too squeal. "You're so cute!! The both of you! Aaawwwweeee!"

She went from excited to overly emotional. "My babies have all grown up!" I squinted my eyes at her letting her know not to cross that line.

 _I am no child._  I smiled at the thought. Wait... I turned to Louis. I thought the curse was released?

Louis had one of those smiles. Not the one where he covers his face or even the one where he shows his teeth. It was that smile where he had his mouth sealed shut with his chin up with his lips thin and pressed together.

"Lou?" I whispered not wanting to ruin his happy. "Yeah, Hazza?" I looked down as the nickname filtered through forgetting what I was going to say.

"Harry?" I looked back up as his concern took over. "You are a child though. Not physically but mentally." To emphasize 'mentality' I tapped my head.

"So it's time to go you'll be late if you don't leave." I nodded and held Louis hand leading him to my car.

 _Chocolate._  "Lou-?"

Louis smiled and pulled me down by my black tye. "I figured it out." He let me go to the other side. I slipt into the drivers seat and buckled up. I turned to see Louis already was.

On the drive to the school Louis tried to show me how it worked. Easy really, I didn't want him to see the suit. "But what about-?" Obviously knew what I was going to say.

" 'Cause I needed someone to come in and save me." It was so quiet. I almost missed it. "You saved me too Lou, when I needed you most." When the memory came around, I let Louis in.

I reached over the console with an open hand. Louis didn't give it much thought when he placed his hand in mine. We fit. We're compatible. A hero to a hero.

This was it. We walked through the front doors hand in hand.

There it was our future.

Not my future,  
Not his future,  
Our future.

Here's where the card game would be set out in front of you. You had to pick one card, the highest card. Then the one with the highest won the game.

See it ends up being some kinda trickery 'cause its all 52 of the cards. So the chances of you getting same exact number is a fourth of the chance for you to get any other number.

So when I pulled a card and Louis pulled a card. That fourth of the chance happened to fall under us. We tied.

There we were standing in the second gymnasium waiting to walk down. We went in alphabetical so we split down the middle. Then came my time to walk down and meet someone who I didn't know half way down. I turned to Louis to tell him I'll see him in the seats, but.

He wasn't there when I turned and just like that my mood flipped. I proceeded to walk with my head undeniably low. As I took the turn towards the front of the other gym. I gave the second person a glance.

"Lou!" I screamed. You could feel the happy radiate off me. I grabbed his hand with a smile plastered across my face.

When I turned back towards the front. I saw my future flash. There it was walking down the isle with hundreds near a thousand of eyes on us.

"That's my son!" My mom yelled. A sea of giggles erupted. I blushed. I turned to Louis and wow. My future flashed before my eyes.

"Are sitting on the other side se-?"

"No silly, next to you."


End file.
